Life should never be monochrome, so thank goodness we all have different sexual appetites and desires. Exploring our own bodies and experimenting with your partner(s) to find out what turns you on can be incredibly good fun and you can learn what makes those sparks fly!
Sex and mental health are closely intertwined, and pleasure makes everyone feel good and how you get there is as unique as you. Orgasms are scientifically proven to help sleep, boost immunity, reduce stress, and calm your brain, so embrace your body and experience the feelings of joy and euphoria that sexual pleasure can bring. Everybody really can have a fun, healthy and safe sex life regardless of their relationship status.
What is there to explore?
Go it alone
Having fun finding out what you like for yourself can massively help to build confidence. If you don’t know what works for your body, it can be tricky for somebody else to figure out. It’s probably preferable though that you make sure you’re somewhere that you won’t be disturbed so you can relax! Then disconnect yourself from the world and connect with yourself. Think thoughts that you might not otherwise have time to and really tune in to the sensations within your body. It’s not all about your sexual organs… your skin is the largest organ of your body and sometimes steering away from the most obvious choices can be rather intriguing. Of course, it is the brain that is key, so dump any negative emotions such as guilt or regret and practice loving yourself.
Get rubbed up the right way
A relaxing massage can help you feel close to your partner(s) and is a delicious experience just on it’s own, especially if there is no time pressure. Again, it gives your brain a chance to get into the game and avoiding genital stimulation (at least for the first part) can build that feeling of anticipation, while both you and your partner relax. Just see where things go – there shouldn’t be any pressure.
Get into position
There are more sexual positions than can be imagined and you don’t have to be an Olympic gymnast to try them all out. Discovering what works for you, can be a good way to let go and try not to take them too seriously. Some will work for you and some won’t! Investing in a copy of the ancient (and oh so current!) Karma Sutra could be a plan. You can always tick them off as you go along and make a note of your favourites! It’s a bit like listening to your top music genre one day and it getting on your nerves the next – it all comes down to your particular mood at that particular moment and that can change from one day to the next.
Location, location, location
Do you always have sex in the bedroom? A lot of people do as a bed is probably the comfiest and easiest place to have sex, but trying different rooms in your home can add a bit of spice! Experimenting in the kitchen can take things up a notch or perhaps the bathroom where there is generally a mirror to provide a touch of visual stimulation. If you’re having sex in the bath or shower don’t forget that water is not a great lubricant, so have some lube to hand (silicon based is best for water play) and please don’t be tempted to try shower gel! If you’re feeling a bit more adventurous try exploring your garden (no pun intended but enjoy that too!) Switching up sexual locations can really reignite relationships and boost your sexual satisfaction.
Get dressed up
From lingerie and fancy-dress costumes to dominatrix and fantasy-wear (plus everything in between) - there’s something for everyone to try when it comes to dressing up. Dressing up can lead to some incredible foreplay and also bring a new level of intimacy as you trust each other with your fantasies. Feel different types of material on your skin like satin or rubber to see what works and see if different materials provide visual stimulation. Again, it’s getting your head in the game and there’s no other erotic stimulation like it.
Find out more about the benefits of having great sex in the second part of our blog.
Order your OraQuick HIV Self Test
Explore clothing and sex toys with Love Honey